As an immigrant to Australia, I have experienced all phases of culture shock numerous times over the past 11 years. It is a fluid and ever-changing process. Culture shock is the “feeling of uncertainty, confusion, or anxiety that people experience when they are transplanted into a society that's different from their own.”
There are five distinct phases (stages): honeymoon, rejection, rejection/regression (moving backward), integration/assimilation (recovery) phase; and lastly reverse/return culture shock.
Below are my suggestions for overcoming culture shock.
Tip #1 - recognition
The first step is to recognise what is happening. This is not always easy. You are excited about your new adventure – what could go wrong, right? I was a bit cavalier about it when I moved to Australia. I assumed that because I was raised in culturally diverse Hawaii, and had lived in Seoul, Korea for a period, my transition to Australian culture would be a ‘piece of cake’! But culture shock has been a problem at times. Having a good network of people who care about you to talk to helps – a balance of trusted people who will not judge you in your ‘new’ country, and the ‘old’, to discuss issues with. This can be challenging to find. Facebook has a lot of ex-pat groups in host countries where support can be found, and this can help.
Tip #2 - Practise Self-care
Secondly, practise self-care by being patient and kind to yourself. This is important. Realise that you will miss things about your country of origin, but that you will learn to adapt to your new country with time. In this age of the internet, it is easier to stay connected. It is okay to have one foot in each of your two countries.
"One of the reasons we feel like a fish out of water . . . is that we don't know all of the cues that are used in the new culture." – John's ESL
Tip #3 - keep positive
The most difficult part of culture shock is the rejection/regression phases; they are tough. This can occur when you feel as though you are not being heard or accepted. You may hear comments like ‘go home to your country’ and ‘I’m not the one with the accent.’ This goes beyond the stares you get because you sound and/or look different, and perhaps the comment ‘you will never be considered local’ said to you in jest. You will find most people are very kind and accepting, but let’s be honest, some are not, and you may feel hurt and set apart. Criticism about your home country is also a contributor. This can lead to nit-picking and complaining about your new country. Be warned - this can also happen in ex-pat Facebook groups I mentioned above; I have left some groups because the complaining was too much and did more harm than good. Recognising this stage is half the battle and again, a support network is key. Stay with groups that are supportive and help members get through this. Keep positive!
Tip #4 - Build relationships
Assimilation is an intentional act and takes effort. It would not be realistic to expect that you should completely divorce yourself from your culture or even lose your accent. But reducing your accent to the point of clear understanding is critical. Learning more about your new country's history and culture helps you engage in conversation and build relationships. Travelling around the country not only builds relatable topics to talk about but also helps you feel more connected.
Tip #5 - reconnect
Understanding that culture shock is fluid makes accepting it easier. Regular trips back ‘home’ help. Yes, it can feel a bit strange, like you’re disconnected, when you go back, but knowing the wonderful parts of both countries gives a feeling of having two homes. I like that!
Explore your world
Now, all that said, I also understand the disappointment and frustration of not being able to return home as planned - thanks Covid! Solution – travel where you can. I have enjoyed new adventures here in Australia that I might not have had if I had chosen to travel back to the USA. My solution? Just go somewhere different – explore your world! Have fun!
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